UnRepentant, The Former Cranky UnDead Bastard (unrepentant) wrote in unrs_ribcage,
UnRepentant, The Former Cranky UnDead Bastard

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Just feeling a bit frustrated

- Another "blind" lunch date, another woman dines n' dashes on me. Getting a little tired of this. This is the third one I've been thru.

At the recommendation of one of my friends, I've tried one of the online dating sites, Match.com. Hasn't worked too well for me. I rarely get any responses much less a woman agreeing to meet me for lunch/drinks/coffee. This is the third one who about ran over me to get out of there when we finished lunch.

I was nice, polite, well dressed. I didn't talk about my divorce, guns, skulls, snipers or anything not really normal. I made her laugh a few times and laughed at her jokes. Didn't spill any food on me or her. Emailed her after lunch and mentioned I'd like to see her again and ... NOTHING. Funny, before lunch, we emailed each other quite a bit.

Just pisses me off she (and the rest) couldn't even give me a "I just didn't feel a connection with you" or something like that. Hurts my feelings. That's pretty shitty to do to someone - just bolt on them and never return their calls. Trying hard not to do the "sour grapes" deal.

I can't help but think it's because of my looks. I still have a problem with that (and I think that will be my main topic tonight at my shrink's). Growing up, my mother never complemented me on how I looked. Always "That suit looks good on you!" type stuff. I've considered myself average looking at best. I didn't ASK to look plain. I didn't just wake up one day and look like this. It's definitely one of the things I need to still work on.

Just wears on me some days. I definitely don't want to be bitter and alone. I don't view this as "the music is stopping and I don't have a chair" or "I have to be with someone so I can be externally validated". I miss being in a relationship. I miss being missed.
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